Models don't scratch/itch.

Its not just my face. My legs... all at the top and my ass... my hips are huge. I even have fat on my arms and the top of my back.. love handles. All in my face... and the bottom parts of my arms too. My calves have always been big but they are even larger then before. And my stomach bulges some. its not thin or toned. Cellulite, lumps... even if my stretch marks don't go away, at least they won't be stretched over cellulite-- they will be over muscle. Toned.
It was a 500ish day with a work out. And this is the beginning to getting away from this nasty thing I am shelled in. Make it defined, show the cheek bones.. look like myself. 

I feel like an outsider right now in my house cause I have to work on my stuff and I can't focus when I am in the main rooms. FUckfuckfuck. After this week, catching up, I promise to spend more time in there. I wonder why my roomie didn't text me back earlier after saying she missed me? Maybe, guilt for not coming to the library or forgot? I did not do anything so I cannot blame myself. Nothing, I have in no way wronged her. Snap out of it... didn't do anything. I am just not in there to talk, because I cannot focus and have to finish this homework. Yep. Fuck it. Its all in me.

So I have this strange obsession with big boobs, and Jessica Stam is my proof that I will still look amazing if I lose mine...