Right, and then?

Two binges, one week.
FUCK.
I am in the library now, cause anyone who has ever had  one knows that group projects suck major ass, especially in college.
MMMmmm, diet coke.
I am also having weird shit/vibes going on with roomies and mum. Blows. Not really sure whats up, but they are not being expressive. I bet I come of as super paranoid, I'm not... that paranoid. Just super 'intuitive' or that's what I am told. I am a good listener and I know people. I read them. It is a curse cause most people suck... and the ones that don't suck are probably passive aggressive when they are upset... which is complete ass for someone like me who prefers honesty instead of wallowing in paranoia.
Which is EXACTLY what I am doing now.
Here are a few other things that suck right now:
1. I started my period today ON CAMPUS IN A SKIRT. And unlike other normal people, I can go through a million (about ten) tampons in a day. It's like that scene from "The Shining" (I eefffing LOVE that movie).
2. My roomies vibes have made me completely paranoid. For example, I am currently in the library waiting for someone to randomly come up and accusing me of lying or stealing... one of them as I imagine it. Even though I know they are NO WHERE near the library.
3. I am convinced that I ruined my mothers life/self esteem because of the awful shit I did in high school, at a grand attempt to open up to one of my room mates yesterday (they are always saying that I worry too much about other people and should take some time for myself) I tired to explain this to her, which she pretty much blew off and continued to read stuff on her computer. Specifically, she stared at her screen, suggested I call someone from back home in the morning, and said that I am "hard on myself".
Note to self: no one actually cares what is all smokey and shitty in your head, its just nice to say that they do. Duh, what the hell was I thinking?
4. On the other hand, my friend that does want to hear me talk, I am semi- convinced that she is some what imbarased by our friendship... very long story. But, admitting how close we are has only become a bit of an event in the past few years and lets face it, there is nothing more self affirming than your BFF keeping you hidden.
5. My self esteem blows. Blows like mountain wind and knocks people over because I am so fucking awkward cause all I can think is, "My arm fat is gross let me randomly grab at it while I look at the floor.", "Wait, what did that joke mean? laughs a minute late.", and of course, "Ahh, cute guy, sip drink every five seconds, look at floor, dont concentrate on what your friends say like a total bitch." I am really awesome right?
6. That metaphor was really awfully-- MOUNTAIN WIND?! I need to quit writing psych papers...
7. This just seems like a good number to end on. It reminds me of how half of my life I clung to sanity with numbers through what it commonly refered to as obsessive compulsive disorder. I hated six and stuck with seven. My ex recently also said that I was a 7, 1 being really skinny and 10 being regular. (Insert horrified face here) (imagine me free basing a bit more exstacy and crying in self hatred here)

I am so cool.